Dane and I found out a little over a month ago that I’m pregnant. We were so excited, but about 2 weeks later I was pretty certain I was miscarrying. I was crushed, but had the weekend to kind of deal with it and accept it. I went to see my Dr. on Monday and learned that I had a hemorrhage but did not miscarry the baby. The baby was 6 weeks along and we could see its little heart beat. Ahh relief!
Then the Ultrasound tech casually says, “so as you can see there are two yolk sacs”. I asked what that meant and she said, “twins! Identical”. She may as well have said, “duh!” cause that was her tone. I just laughed and said, “what?!” Over and over again, with my hand on my head. The only thing was, we couldn’t see the second babies heart beat. We would have to wait another week to see if baby #2 (or as baby is now referred to, baby A) would progress.
It was another week of worry. Gratitude that baby B was healthy, but now I had this great desire to not lose something I didn’t even know I had. I instantly felt maternal over both of these tiny little babes of mine. After a long week I had my 2nd ultrasound, this time Dane joined me. We had both done a lot of praying and studying all week to remind us to put our faith and trust in Christ no matter the outcome, so we went in to the appointment ready to accept whatever. To my utter relief both babies had strong heart beats (115 and 130 i think) and they were both measuring 7 weeks. I instantly started crying and was so relieved. Dane instantly started panicking as it was finally hitting him that we were having twins.
In my week of waiting, I did a lot of research. I was curious how the tech knew right away I was having identical twins. I learned that I was likely having Mono Mono twins and I learned about all the scary things that go along with a pregnancy like this. So when we were in our 2nd ultrasound I asked the tech if it was a mono mono pregnancy and she said, “yes”. I asked if there was anyway she maybe was missing something, maybe couldn’t see the membrane? And she said, “no”. So it was confirmed this was a mono pregnancy. She told me I would be having lots of ultrasounds in my future. The dr. on call that day told me I would be switching OBs (I needed to see one that dealt with higher risk pregnancies) but that was ok because that was my original OB when pregnant with Isaac. I was also given my official due date of January 30th.
One week later I went in for my 3rd ultrasound. Babies looked great and had grown by a week. They were measuring 8 weeks along. Baby B is big baby and baby A is the runt. The tech said there’s always a runt with twins. 🙂 Both had great heart beats 158 and 175 and were growing right along. This time I met with my current OB and the appointment was a little hard. He was really straightforward (which I did appreciate) and just told me that only 1% of twin pregnancies are Mono and that they’re rare and dangerous. His words when we walked in the door were “This is bad Jill, this is really bad”. He told me some drs. would say to abort the pregnancy because of all the risks to Mom and babies. He seemed visibly freaked out which was a little weird to see from a Dr. He said to just plan on having a fall baby, and if my babies make it to 28 weeks it will be a miracle. The thing with Mono twins is that they share the same sac, so the main complication is cord entanglement. Survival rates used to only be 50% for these twins, but in recent years, with aggressive hospital monitoring, it’s up to 80%.
He did offer a little encouragement when he told me that on the same day I found out I was having Mono twins he met with a couple that had previously delivered mono twins at 34 weeks totally healthy. He said he didn’t think that was coincidence, and it was encouraging to him.
He set me up with a specialist in Spokane (a perinatologist) and I’ll see him in a few weeks. I’ll continue to see my Dr here as well, but if I do have to be monitored in the hospital, or deliver babies any time before 28 weeks that will all be in Spokane.
So I have a break from Drs. appointments for a couple weeks, but it looks like it’s gonna be a crazy year for us. I feel a lot of peace in some ways, but it’s also hitting me how overwhelmed I feel. I’m worried about how this will affect my family and I’m worried about my twins lives. I’m afraid to deal with a big loss but I also know it’s a real possibility. I just don’t know how to prepare for that kind of thing. I try to not get too glued to ideas of the future, but I also can’t help but picture my life with twin babies. I love them both so much now and just want them to live. So i’ve just settled on letting myself feel how I feel.
It usually hits me at night and I cry for awhile, or I’ll wake up and not be able to fall back asleep for hours because I can’t stop thinking about how everything will work out. Sometimes when I hear about sad Mono experiences It’ll stick with me for a couple days. Last night I dreamt I miscarried the babies and couldn’t fall back asleep.
It’s gonna be a crazy ride and it’s something I haven’t dealt with before, but I do feel blessed to be carrying these babies and be given this experience. If anyone else out there has mono twins and wants to chat, feel free to comment or message me!
PS I’m 9 weeks and totally showing. I have similar symptoms and cravings as my other pregnancies but I’m not nearly as sick as I was the last two times! Interesting since I’ve got twins! But I’m grateful!